Senior single men to chat with/no dating sites
On the meta-level, the same publications pushed the narrative that men can’t possibly understand sexual harassment, or men will never believe accusers’ stories, or men refuse to believe other men can be harassers.
The Guardian writes about Men Who Are Silent After #Me Too, and the Washington Post about how Some Men Disagree About What Counts As Sexual Harassment.
If you prefer anecdotes to data, you can sift through this Reddit thread with 2474 comments.
For example: I’m a junior ncm in the Canadian forces.
I went up to get a drink in a crowded bar and a rather large woman ruffled my hair and said ‘I like this one’. Then for what it’s worth I’ve been sexually harassed by two women, and I see no reason to think my experience is anything other than typical.
But then is it odd that so few of the recent high-profile victims of sexual harassment have been men, and so few of the high-profile perpetrators women? Everyone has made it clear from the start that they don’t want to hear about this.
By freak coincidence I came across this story from last month where Mariah Carey’s bodyguard accused her of sexually harassing him.
Carey is much higher-profile than most of the men involved.
It seems kind of contradictory to think of this as a pressing issue, but also think that the fact that only 30% of harassment victims are men means that we should always use female pronouns for generic harassment victims, and always generically call perpetrators “males in position of power”. Suppose I write about how we need to do more to support the victims of terrorism. But what if I write about how we need to do more to support the Christian victims of Muslim terrorism? If I write story after story about how Christians need to be on the watch out for Muslim terrorists, but Muslims need to be on the watch out for other Muslims being terrorists, and if I tell Muslim victims of Christian terrorism to stay silent because that’s not “structural oppression” – then that “maybe” turns to “obviously”.(The “structural oppression” model is false, by the way.Homosexual male harassment is more prevalent than the percent gay men in the population would imply, suggesting that gay men harass men more often than straight men harass women.I requested a geographic posting to get away from that lunatic and get an investigation underway but I was told by my WO that “these things happen for a reason”. It was pretty uncomfortable and I felt kinda vulnerable.Eight months later I was suicidal and that WO was signing my counselling and probation with her husband. In the wake of all these sexual harassment stories, I looked back on this moment and considered for the first time that that was actual sexual harassment. Don’t believe random Redditors, but do believe random bloggers?
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The “it only matters if it’s structural” game isn’t so much fun now, is it?